I always wanted to write a diary, my whole life and I have bought so many I cant even tell you how many!! I would love it as a child, and an adult, at Christmas when I would open a present and there would be a brand new diary, just ready for me to start to write my innermost thoughts and good or bad things that may have happened to me in the day. I had so much fun choosing just the perfect pen and deciding whether I should leave the front page blank and excited about the whole thing, yes even as a 30 year old I would still get the excitement.
Then it would be March and the diary would still be blank or at the most have two entries which were so perfectly written that I could have copied them from a book. And I have no idea why! Some reasons I think is that I always worried if I wrote what I really felt and someone found it they may be offended or think differently about me. Or it may be because I really hate to think of bad things!!! im someone that prefers to deal with it tomorrow so if I wrote it in my diary it becomes real! or maybe its just because I’m a little boring!!! I don’t really do much apart from everyday Mum things. I have interests and hobbies and I’m always trying new things but they are things like card making or growing seeds or learning to make my own clothes…not things like skydiving or mountain climbing or much that if someone did find my diary, they would think I was such an interesting person!!
However, I decided recently that we are all climbing our own mountains whether they seem small to others or not. I have four wonderful children who make life very interesting especially as my daughters have Autism and my son is being assessed for certain things..maybe ADD. And my littlest man has started school so I’m still trying to deal with being just me for a lot of the time again and finding out who I am. So, although I’m not out scuba diving ( i’m not fond of the water..strange as we live 2 minutes from the beach!!) I am doing my own things and making memories (even though my son said he would remember forever how I wouldn’t let him eat chocolate at 2am this morning) and in all honesty it will probably be March and no one will have probably read this anyway but that’s ok because I am determined to be myself and record my memories, good and bad now and maybe when I’m older I will look back and think that actually my life was just a little bit interesting!!!