So, this week I have a much happier Jessie. This week she doesn’t have her SATS. At first it seemed that she didn’t really pay much attention to what they were and just went about her daily school life but something changed and I don’t know how or what she had listened to but suddenly she became full of anxiety to the point of it making her feel physically ill in the weeks leading up to the SATS.

Just to say however that I talked to her about it and she said she did want to do them as her friends were so that was fine by me, or I would have done everything I could have to not have her do them.  And not just because she has Special Needs, I would have done it for any of my children.

So, she did get a sticker which she was proud of on the second day because she managed to get to the end of her paper,  but the others she didn’t manage to complete and she was full of questions like did it mean she wasn’t clever because she couldn’t finish and if she got a low mark or no mark it must mean that she wasn’t good enough didn’t it?

It broke my heart to hear her, and im sure there are hundreds of children questioning themselves in the same way. Even younger than Jessie as she is a year back at school.

So, we had a long talk. Or as long as I could hold her attention for! I told her that the mark she receives is not whats important. Its the fact she sat there and tried her very best. That’s worth top marks to me.  The paper is about Maths and English. That’s it. The only thing it tells us is what someone is like at writing and sums ( to put it very basically so she understood)

If she had a paper in Art she would have had the highest marks I am sure. The paper wont tell us that she is the most fantastic computer animator and that her characters and ideas just blow me away!! (of course I couldn’t say blow me away to her or she would have taken that literally and gone looking for me…when it was teatime 🙂 )

The paper wont tell us that she has the kindest heart and a soul filled with empathy. She gives her pocket money to sponser a tiger and feed children. She grew her hair for children that don’t have any. She weeps when she sees the adverts of the people living in poverty. She wants to write to owners of empty houses and shops to see if they will let homeless people stay. That quality is a millions times more important than top marks in spellings.

The paper also doesn’t tell us that even though she worries about her speech, she stood up in church and did a reading. True bravery. She is a real playmate for her little brother and looks out for him at school and home. A protector. She is the funniest person and cheers me up in seconds. A comedien. She loves to sing and is fantastic at making up tunes on her Ukelele. A musician.  She has Autism and life is very often confusing and frightening for her but she never gives up. She has real determination.

The paper wont tell anyone how brilliant she is with animals. They all adore her and come running to her, even animals that aren’t fond of other people.  Its almost as if she can talk to them and I often wonder if she can!!!!  She did her bikeability even though she was scared to go on the road. She still did it. Her honesty is second to none.

She is an amazing daughter, sister and friend. I don’t care if she doesn’t get top marks in such an insignificant test of who a person is. She is a Top Mark person and that’s what I would rather be anyday.